While our God is unquestionably a God of love (1 John 4:8), there are actually
some things the Bible says he hates – among which is the termination of lawful
marriages (Malachi 2:16). It goes without saying that God’s people must never
teach or practice anything that would condone, endorse, promote, or encourage
that which God hates. But what positive steps can be taken to prevent divorce?
Divorce is prevented when spouses fulfill their God-given responsibilities toward
each other. If every married couple respected God’s marriage law and followed
God’s instruction manual, divorce would be non-existent. “Let the husband
render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her
husband” (1 Cor. 7:3 NKJV). Husbands must love and honor their wives and be
Christ-like leaders in the home (Eph. 5:23-33; 1 Pet. 3:7). Wives are to submit
to, respect, and love their husbands (Eph. 5:22-33; Titus 2:4-5; 1 Pet. 3:1-6).
Imagine how many marital problems would be resolved if every spouse was more
patient, kind, humble, selfless, and trusting (1 Cor. 13:4-7).
Divorce is prevented when children are taught, by example and instruction, to
respect the institution of marriage and to view it as a permanent union. The
influence of television, the movie industry, and our worldly society must be
superseded by the good examples of Christian couples, the faithful instruction
of Bible class teachers, and the healthy environment provided by Christian
parents.
Divorce
is prevented when we encourage our singles to be faithful Christians and to
marry faithful Christians. Granted, marrying a professing Christian will not
automatically ensure a successful marriage, but when both partners share the
same faith and the same commitment to a divinely-governed marriage, the odds
are stacked considerably in their favor.
Divorce
is prevented when Christians study their Bibles diligently to understand the
Lord’s will concerning marriage. Ignorance is not bliss when it comes to the
will of God (Hos. 4:6). When discussing controversial issues like divorce and
remarriage, it’s an easy cop-out to say, “Well, I haven’t really studied it
enough.” While this may be a valid excuse for an immature Christian, there
comes a time when a child of God must study this subject to the point he or she
knows what the Bible teaches. It affects too many lives to be complacent and
content with ignorance.
Divorce
is prevented when church leaders have enough conviction, courage, and concern
to take a firm stand and publicly teach and defend the truth on marriage,
divorce and remarriage. Jesus and Paul did not remain silent on this issue,
even though it was as controversial in the first century as it is today.
Teachers of God’s word will be held accountable both for what they teach and
for what they neglect to teach (Acts 20:26-27; 1 Tim. 4:16; James 3:1).
Divorce
is prevented when Christians refuse to compromise with the world (Rom. 12:1-2).
The devil succeeds when couples divorce and remarry contrary to God’s will,
when unscriptural marriages are tolerated in congregations, when the word of
God is ignored or twisted to accommodate sinful unions, and when brethren are
led to believe this issue is unimportant. By exhibiting lax attitudes toward
God’s marriage and moral laws, the church succumbs to the destructive influence
of the world.
Divorce
is prevented when Christians are united on what the Bible teaches concerning
this matter. Accepting a wide variety of interpretations and applications does
anything but prevent divorce. If the “agree to disagree” mentality is allowed
to prevail, unlawful marriages will continue multiplying in the church,
generating more conflict and putting more souls at risk. Divided scholarship
must never be used to justify disunity among brethren.
In
our attempts to prevent divorce – compassion, patience, and kindness must
always be shown (2 Tim. 2:24-26). Confronting sin must never be done in a
mean-spirited way, neither should our love for sinners induce us to tolerate or
condone sin. We must speak the truth in love and restore the erring in a spirit
of gentleness (Eph. 4:15; Gal. 6:1), while being careful not to forget our
primary aims of obeying the Lord and saving souls.
–Kevin L. Moore
Originally
appearing in The Exhorter (April-June 2000) and republished in The
Summit Chronicle 6:1 (January 2008): 6.
Related Articles: Dave Willis' The Truth About Divorce
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