Why would it seem so peculiar for a congregation to have a greater
preference for an unmarried preacher than for a family man? Why is it generally
more difficult for single missionaries to raise support than for married ones?
When mission teams are being formed, why are couples often recruited with
little regard for single prospects? The underlying message, although subtle and
unintentional, is that the unmarried status is comparatively inferior.
Consequently singles are unwittingly brainwashed into thinking they are
abnormal, and no wonder so many are discontent and undergo senseless
frustration and self-pity.
Is there
something inherently wrong with being spouseless? Was not Jesus, our Master and
perfect example, a single man? Was it not an unmarried person who wrote, “I
have learned in whatever state I am, to be content” (Philippians 4:11)? Almost
all successful missionary models are based on the ministries and methods of
Jesus and Paul, both of whom were bachelors. There appears to be a greater
precedent in the New Testament for single missionaries than for married ones,
but in today’s church it looks as though we have turned this idea on its head.
Congregations looking to support a missionary usually have in mind a couple
or a family, and it seems that single candidates are considered only
when no others are available. I can’t help but wonder how difficult it would be
for evangelists like Paul, Barnabas, Silas, Timothy, and even Jesus to find
employment or to raise financial support in many present-day congregations.
One must
never let the fact that he/she is single keep him/her from considering
missionary opportunities. We need more singles involved in every aspect of
church work, especially missions. If a person is eligible, that person most
certainly has the “right to take along a believing [spouse]” (1 Corinthians
9:5). But keep in mind that he/she also has the right not to! Regardless
of social expectations, the Lord has not made it a requirement for a person to
be married.
If one’s heart is set on doing missionary work, it is much better to
remain single than to marry someone who doesn’t share the same convictions and
dreams. I know brethren who sincerely want to do overseas missionary work but
have never been able to because of a spouse who does not have the same desire.
The fire in their bones either has to be extinguished or it continues to burn
with feeble attempts to satisfy it on the home front. And if an uncommitted
partner is dragged off to the mission field, don’t expect the work to be very
fruitful. If your mate is miserable, you will almost certainly be miserable
too. A number of missionaries have been forced to return home prematurely
because of an unhappy spouse.
Several years
ago, when I was still single, an elder of one of my supporting congregations
said to me: “There’s nothing better than a good woman …” After a brief pause,
he continued, “… and there’s nothing worse than a bad one!” (cf. Proverbs
12:4). That is not to suggest a person is bad if he or she doesn’t want to be a
missionary, and the above observation also applies to the opposite gender. But
the point is: marriage is not a prerequisite for missionary work, and in some
cases it may even be inadvisable. There are two things a prospective single
missionary must never say: (1) “I plan to do missionary work unless I
get married,” and (2) “I won’t do missionary work until I get married.”
There are some who have chosen single-hood (at least for a time) for the
kingdom of heaven’s sake. “He who is able to accept it, let him accept it”
(Matthew 19:12).
–Kevin L. Moore
Adapted from the author’s book The
Single Missionary (2002) 1-5; reworked and adapted further for a previous
post on “The Single Christian,” <Link>.
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Related articles: Stan Mitchell's The Single Minister
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