Conflict Resolution: Whose Responsibility? (Part 2 of 2)

The Biblical Pattern

STEP 1: It always begins with me. If I am guilty of sin, the Lord expects me to follow his directions and seek redemption.¹ If my brother has something against me, the Lord expects me to take the initiative and seek resolution.² If my brother sins against me, the Lord expects me to approach the offending brother first and seek reconciliation.³ If my brother sins, whether it directly affects me or not, the Lord expects me to be my brother’s keeper and seek restoration.⁴

It goes without saying that the directive to “go and tell him his fault between you and him alone” (Matt. 18:15)⁵ is not without implicit exceptions. It presupposes an established relationship, not a “cold turkey” approach. Differences in gender, age, relationship, trust, and maturity would call for wisdom and discretion to avoid the appearance of impropriety, intimidation, or a compromising situation. A mutually respected mediator would then be appropriate (cf. Acts 9:26-28; Phil. 4:2-3).

STEP 2: If implementing the first step does not result in having “gained your brother,” i.e., if he refuses to listen and repent, “take with you one or two more” (Matt. 18:16), preferably, if not presumably, reputable and spiritually mature brethren (cf. Gal. 6:1). Jesus gives scriptural confirmation, quoting Deuteronomy 19:15, a long-established conventional means of corroboration.⁶  Multiple witnesses serve the threefold purpose of (a) confirming the charge, (b) protecting the accused against impulsive, petty, or malicious allegations, and (c) providing additional support and counsel.

STEP 3: If the accused refuses to heed the mutual appeal of concerned brethren, “tell it to the church” (Matt. 18:17a). The body of Christ is not one member but many (1 Cor. 12:14-26), and when one member goes astray, the entire church is affected (1 Cor. 5:6; Gal. 5:7-9). A unified plea, and any other disciplinary action, is the corporate responsibility of the congregation as a whole (1 Cor. 5:4-5; 6:1-5; 2 Thess. 3:6, 14; 1 Tim. 5:20).

STEP 4: “But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector” (Matt. 18:17b). When a wayward brother defies the collective admonition of his church family and stubbornly persists in misconduct, he himself has severed his spiritual bond with the Lord and the Lord’s people. The rest of the congregation are simply to follow through with his own foolish choices. Likening him to “a heathen and a tax collector” (discussed in more detail below) should be understood from Christ’s perspective and in light of how the early church carried it out.

This latter stage of the disciplinary process is purposeful disassociation: “taken away from among you,” “deliver such a one to Satan,” “purge out,” “do not keep company with,” “put away from yourselves,” “withdraw from” (1 Cor. 5:2-13; 2 Thess. 3:6, 14).⁷ If the impenitent sinner is determined to live for Satan, he is to be turned back over to Satan’s realm; let him experience the world of Satan so he will want to return to the Lord and the Lord’s family. The primary objective is not necessarily punishment or retaliation but to rescue a lost soul, while also maintaining the moral integrity of the church (1 Cor. 5:4-8; 2 Cor. 2:5-11; 2 Thess. 3:14; 1 Tim. 5:20; Jas. 5:19-20).

STEP 5: The disassociation is not the final step, nor is it a complete severance of all interaction: “note that person and do not keep company with him, that he may be ashamed. Yet do not count him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother” (2 Thess. 3:14-15). This cannot be done unless regular contact is maintained. Disciplinary action, although firm and uncompromising, is not intended to be hateful, malicious, or cruel. The withdrawing does not mean giving up on this brother, and further attempts are to be made to bring him back to faithfulness. The admonishing continues until repentance is forthcoming (cf. 2 Cor. 2:5-11; 7:9-10).

Like a Heathen and a Tax Collector?

Why is the impenitent brother likened to the “heathen” [ὁ ἐθνικὸς] and “tax collector” [ὁ τελώνης], and how would this comparison be viewed from the Lord’s perspective?

In first-century Palestine, the provincial tax collector (or revenue officer) was a local hireling of a wealthy contractor, typically a foreign publicanus, the one retaining the Roman tax-gathering contract. Regular interaction and collaboration with pagan Gentiles rendered the Jewish tax collector ceremonially defiled and a social outcast in the orthodox Jewish community. Characteristically greedy and corrupt, he was despised by the local populace and lumped together with “prostitutes” (Matt. 21:31-32) and “sinners” (Matt. 9:10-11; 11:19).⁸

In Matthew 18:17 the hypothetical tax collector is grouped with ὁ ἐθνικός, variously rendered “heathen” (N/KJV), “pagan” (NIV), “unbeliever” (CEV, ISV), but mostly “Gentile” (CSB, ESV, NASB, NET, N/RSV). The adjectival ἐθνικός appears three times in Matthew’s Gospel, all in the teachings of Jesus (Matt. 5:46-47; 6:7; 18:17), and only once in the rest of the NT (3 John 7). It specifically refers to a foreigner with particular focus on moral or religious defects, comparable to “unbelieving, worldly, polytheistic” (BDAG 276). From a Jewish perspective it would apply to a non-Israelite (Matt. 5:47; 6:7), and from a Christian perspective, to a non-Christian (2 John 7).⁹

How did Jesus respond to and treat the tax collectors of his day and others considered morally and religiously deficient? Although he recognized their disreputable standing in the community (Matt. 5:46-47), he reached out to them, spent time with them, and was considered their “friend” (Matt. 11:19; Luke 7:34). He certainly did not condone, justify, tolerate, or participate in their sins, yet with compassion he sought to guide, influence, and teach them to turn from their sinful ways (Matt. 9:10-13; Mark 2:14-17; Luke 5:27-32; 15:1-32). In general they proved to be receptive to the Lord, more so than the self-righteous religious elites (Matt. 21:31-32; Mark 2:14; Luke 3:12-14; 7:29-30; 15:1-2; 18:9-14).

When Jesus instructed his disciples to view an erring brother like the “heathen” and the “tax collector,” they would know from the Lord’s own example what this meant: no hatred or malice or disdain but loving concern for a lost soul.¹⁰ Neither condoning nor overlooking the sin, discipline is administered by withdrawing cordial association, “Yet do not count him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother” (2 Thess. 3:14-15).

Ironically, it is only in Matthew’s Gospel that the apostle Matthew is labelled “the tax collector” (Matt. 10:3). He knew firsthand what it was like to be detested and disparaged as an outcast in his own community yet loved by the Lord anyway. What Jesus spoke, Matthew the tax collector recorded.

Conclusion

In dealing with a sinning brother (or sister), it never involves vile castigation or complete avoidance. With Christlike compassionate love we do what is needed, according to Christ’s example and teachings, to win our errant sibling back, seeking recognition of sin, shame, and godly sorrow leading to repentance and restoration: “that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord” (1 Cor. 5:5b).

--Kevin L. Moore

Endnotes:

     ¹ The verb μετανοέω (“repent”) occurs sixteen times in the Synoptic Gospels (Matt. 3:2; 4:17; 11:20, 21; 12:41; Mark 1:15; 6:12; Luke 10:13; 11:32; 13:3, 5; 15:7, 10; 16:30; 17:3, 4) and eighteen times in the rest of the NT (Acts 2:38; 3:19; 8:22; 17:30; 26:20; 2 Cor. 12:21; Rev. 2:5[x2], 16, 21[x2], 22; 3:3, 19; 9:20, 21; 16:9, 11). The noun μετάνοια (“repentance”) occurs eight times in the Synoptic Gospels (Matt. 3:8, 11; Mark 1:4; Luke 3:3, 8; 5:32; 15:7; 24:47) and fourteen times in the rest of the NT (Acts 5:31; 11:18; 13:24; 19:4; 20:21; 26:20; Rom. 2:4; 2 Cor. 7:9, 10; 2 Tim. 2:25; Heb. 6:1, 6; 12:17; 2 Pet. 3:9). See K. L. Moore, “What Must I Do To Be Saved?” Moore Perspective (30 Jan. 2015), <Link>.

     ² Matt. 5:23-24; 7:3-5; 1 Cor. 10:24; Phil. 2:3-4.

     ³ Matt. 18:15 (ASV, CSB, ESV, N/KJV, RSV); Luke 17:3 (NIV, N/KJV, WEB); cf. Luke 17:4.

     ⁴ Matt. 18:15 (NASB, NET, NIV); Luke 17:3 (ASV, CSB, ESV, ISV, NASB, NET, N/RSV); Gal. 2:11-14; 6:1-2; Jas. 5:19-20.

     ⁵ Unless otherwise noted, scripture quotations are from the New King James Version (1996).

     ⁶ See also Deut. 17:6; John 8:17; 2 Cor. 13:1b; 1 Tim. 5:19; Heb. 10:28. Among the ancients, from Herodotus (420 BC) to Marcellinus (AD 395), eyewitness testimony was regarded as the most reliable source of information. See David E. Aune, The New Testament in Its Literary Environment, LEC (Philadelphia: Westminster, 1987): 81.

     ⁷ Cf. also Rom. 16:17; Tit. 3:10-11. “The abuse of discipline has often led to a harsh and intolerant spirit, but neglect of it has proved a danger almost as great” (Donald Guthrie, The Pastoral Epistles, TNTC [Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1991]: 106).

     ⁸ See BDAG 999; cf. also Mark 2:15-16; Luke 5:30; 7:34; 15:1. The term τελώνης appears in the NT only in the Synoptic Gospels and is better rendered “tax collector” or “tax gatherer” rather than “publican” (ASV, Douay-Rheims, JUB, KJV), a transliteration of the Latin publicanus.

     ⁹ In Matthew 5:47, in the broader discussion about enemies, hateful persecutors, the evil and the unjust, instead of οἱ ἐθνικοί, a textual variant reads οἱ τελῶναι (“tax collectors”) (MSB, N/KJV, WEB, YLT). The standard Greek text accepts the οἱ ἐθνικοί reading, variously rendered “Gentiles” (ASV, H/CSB, ESV, NASB, NET, N/RSV), “pagans” (NIV), “unbelievers” (CEV, ISV). In Matthew 6:7, variously rendered “Gentiles” (ASV, CSB, ESV, NASB, NET, N/RSV, WEB), “heathen” (N/KJV), “pagans” (NIV), “unbelievers” (ISV), “idolaters” (HCSB)—cp. 1 Kings 18:26; Acts 19:34. In 3 John 7, variously rendered “Gentiles” (ASV, ESV, ISV, NASB, N/KJV), “heathen” (RSV), “pagans” (CSB, NET, NIV), “nonbelievers” (NRSV). On the noun ἔθνος, see BDAG 276-77; also K. L. Moore, “Until the Times of the Gentiles are Fulfilled,” Moore Perspective (2026), <Link>.

     ¹⁰ If the noun ἔθνη (“nations”) is also considered, the point is even more impactful (Matt 12:18, 21; 21:43; 24:14; 28:19).

Related Posts: Conflict Resolution (Part 1), What Does "Fellowship" Mean?, Church Discipline 

Related articles: Patrick Swayne, Don't Skip That Part 

 

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